April 24 5:30-6:30 PM, NYC

The energy exchange is powerful.  My energy is clearly elevated in Parashakti’s presence.  I can visualize what’s asked of me, a shield circular in nature, like a medicine wheel.  My shield begins as a pink bubble which encircles me and becomes electrically charged and glowing orange/copper.  I have come full circle, a new door is opened and my path has been laid out already.  (been here/done that.)  The cards are chosen with excitement, revealing the medicine wheel, the energy of the East, of new beginnings.  A 20 card* is chosen, I believe it is described as a power card, “an ace up my sleeve.”

My journey begins with a walk around the medicine wheel, around my quest circle.  I am amazed at how quickly I can bring myself back to my circle, the first place I ever attempted a quest in the NJ Pine Barrens.  It’s the same day in my mind, but the energy is empowering.  I quickly feel taken over by the forces of nature.  My body is shifting almost rocking from feet to head and back again.  I am told to give in to the healing energy and let it take me.  In the circle I hear a rhythm in my head.  I let a waterfall shower over my back washing discomfort away.  The gravitational pull on my legs is comforting as I rock deeper into the circle.  My arms feel lifted, like a pull between my legs being grounded and my torso being pulled upward.  It’s explained as healing energy.

At some point I am make aware of the back ground noise and its symbolism of the internal noise that pulls me in many distracted directions.

I am now told to approach my guide and begin my journey.  I see a trusting man that I greet with a familiar hug (the hug with a nurturing connection) and agree to let guide me.  Once I acknowledge the exchange I fear being led.  I witness my struggle to let go and be led.  Is it that I don’t truly know how to be led?  The struggle to go brings up thoughts of my self directed isolation and desire to be led.  I know I desire to be able to fully trust and let myself go with another.

After some time I envision my guide as a spirit, a flowing entity of light, that lifts me up and I am able to go with her.  I am led to the ocean, my safe place, seated on the sand gazing at the ocean.  I am immediately comforted thinking I have been brought to a safe place of my choice, it is about where I like to be, my opinions, not someone’s.  I have a memory I recently shared with my friend about a time in my life, during high school when my body reacted.  Is the meaning that the guides were communicating with me through use of my physical body?  I am led to a river with a bridge.  The river begins glass like and serene and continues as it flows steadily over and through rocks and boulders, unchanged and unyielding.  I identify with the water in a few ways.  Am I just surface and not as deep… the reason I fear the ascent in scuba diving and enjoy the power of the waves as I surf?  Is it a connection with the river in that it flows unaffected by the obstacles, powering past boulders with determination?  I feel a connection to nature, the sun, and the trees… the connection highlights a connection with the spirit.  I see the dark/shadow before me on my left side and the light on my right.  Is it to question the light and dark of beings?  Is it the off-balance of energies? **

I slowly begin to hear more sounds in the room, the hallways surrounding the room I am physically in.  I am returning from a very comfortable and magical place.  I want to hold on… but I tell myself to trust the process, that my guide will be with me whenever I need and the recognition of the journey has only just begun.  I decided to let go of the string connecting me to the spirit and I begin to speak to Parashakti.

I am asked to share my experience.  I heal with tears as the depths of my soul are revealed within my words.  I experience the pain with an understanding that I am being cleansed and rebalanced.  My body is physically convulsing; my spine, my arms, legs all tremor and shake.  The shakti, my shakti is triggered, as I am now an invoker.  I am happy to witness the physical and emotional release, as I begin to receive.

I am told to hold a ceremony Sunday (the third day) and am told to ask my guide what that would entail.  What is my guide telling me to do over the next days?   In His infinite wisdom he tells me to “Shut Up!”  Parashakti asks if I can commit to that… it is challenging to fully commit, but I will hold myself to it.  I am told to be in the sun and see the image of bathing, almost a sunshine shower or bath.

I return to the alter, shivering to the bone.  The chill subsides and I feel ecstasy.  My heart is filled to a staggering capacity where I can physically feel my heart center stuffed to the max, solid.  Parashakti is told to advise me on creating an alter in the East, at home, and it will change the energy of my space.  We ask the guide to present Himself in animal form, as I choose a card.  The Wolf!  (Howling at a moon.)***  Parashakti advises me to research the wolf as a spirit guide.  She says to allow the wolf to reveal the teacher within.  I am to find something physical to symbolize the wolf to place on the alter.  We close with the reminder that the shield is particularly important for me to remember.  I can carry it with me every where.  I envision the different types of shields; a medicine wheel, a quest circle, armor.  The final words include a reminder to receive.  I take from that a reminder of my privilege to receive and not only give.  I feel empowered and on my way.  I truly feel God’s divine grace is the room and a connection to the spirit in each being present.  Hari Om Tat Sat

Notes:

As an aside, I researched qualities of the Wolf, like its nature is to be Free as a lone wolf, or communal in a pack.  I learned of the alpha, beta and omega roles of the pack (my tattoo is the alpha and omega- my validation) The wolf is symbolic of a need for balance between personal/family and community needs.  The wolf does not fight needlessly and avoids fighting whenever possible.  The wolf knows the importance of communication; highlighting the need to hone my speaking skills to effectively relate my feelings.  He teaches to know who I am and develop confidence and strength in who I am.  The Wolf is Ritualistic- I note it is time to become ritualistic for my wellbeing and for accelerated and smooth transformation.  Personally designed rituals can help me communicate my needs and express my feelings.   My ritual should honor the forces of spirituality and connect with the life forces of Mother Earth.

Love and Light

Jenevi